Making “THE” Decision part 2

One evening I was scrolling through Facebook as I do a lot of nights just checking in with the world before going to sleep and I’m noticing a friend’s picture… she’s sweaty and smiling and has her arms up flexing her biceps… and she commenting on her work out and her results, etc. Now this particular friend has never looked bad a day in her life (in my opinion!) and she’s not the same out of shape/overweight that I am, but that’s not what stuck out. What stuck out to me was the other picture she’d posted of her results. I stalked her page a bit longer to find out that she’d been seeing a personal trainer and had before and after measurements (arms, bust, waist, thighs, etc) and the results were right there…in number form. She’d lost inches in her thighs, abs, arms, basically all of the areas measured… and I was fascinated and ecstatic for her. I thought, that is exactly what I’ve been looking for.

It wasn’t long before I ended up on Body Under Construction’s facebook page. (I will talk more about this place in a separate post) I gander at the pictures, take note of the comments and interactions with people and try to absorb as much information as I could about the place. Then I considered whether or not it was something I could pursue. I’m looking through the pictures and I’m thinking wow, all of those people look great! And I’m a little nervous about that. Because I am obviously not in good shape. So I will most likely have limitations of what I can do or at least how much I can do. And the biggest question I had to ask myself was, if I was willing and ready to accept my condition, know that I will be weak in several areas and could I let another person see that side of me. It’s one thing to walk around overweight and out of shape in normal every day life because rarely is someone going to ask you to do some sort of physical exercise and you have to admit to them and yourself that you don’t think you can physically do it.  I played out all of these scenarios in my head… like “what if they ask me to jump rope 20 times and I can’t do it more than 3?” then I’ll look silly and weak and feel terrible about myself. And what if they are mean or laugh at me? Can I handle that? I had a thousand things come up in my mind while considering if I should go see a personal trainer. I had no real experience with a “good” personal trainer…what if they are like drill sergeants and yell at me, etc… Will I feel silly trying to do exercises that are difficult and will there be other people around to see me failing at them? (my mindset has now changed, this is where I started)

I mean seriously, if it can be thought, I thought it. That was only half of my battle. I have to find out the cost of the facility and I have to find out the schedule and then approach my husband and ask if I can spend money on yet another weight loss “idea” and pray that he says it’s okay. Now, give my husband some credit, he’s not the controlling type and he is certainly 100% behind my quest to getting healthy. However, I’ve been on several bandwagons to what I thought were paths to weight loss…and nothing had worked for me. (I won’t say those things don’t work, just saying it didn’t fit me!) So how do I explain to him that I want to spend money weekly going to a personal trainer when everything else I’d done didn’t provide results. We are on a tight budget with a snowball plan of paying off student loans and debt. I was terrified at asking to spend money on another idea when I had failed at everything else.

Well like the old saying goes, you eat an elephant one bite at a time. The first thing I had to do was get all of the information and all of the details before approaching him. So I messaged the owner of Body Under Construction, gave him a brief history of myself and asked for more information regarding his facility. I wrote out all of these questions on my phone and waited for a long time before pressing send. I was nervous! Because actually contacting them was making the whole thing real and I was terrified of every outcome. Would it be too expensive? Would the hours not work? What if I’m the largest person there? What if the trainer is mean or inconsiderate? What if I can’t physically do it?

I took a deep breath. Blew it out and pushed send. What was the worst that could happen?


2 thoughts on “Making “THE” Decision part 2

  1. I love this!!! You are doing the most empowering thing you can do for yourself!
    If you ever want anyone to talk to, I love seeing people like you achieve their goals. 🙂
    The hardest part is convincing yourself that it’s not only possible, but that you will do it!

    • Thank you so much! It’s hard being open and vulnerable but at the same time it’s very freeing! I am going to do it, one day at a time! Thanks so much for the support! It means a lot!

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